Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still
be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.
-- Snoopy
Yesterday I was a dog. Today I'm a dog. Tomorrow I'll probably still
be a dog. Sigh! There's so little hope for advancement.
-- Snoopy
It is imperative when flying coach that you restrain any tendency toward
the vividly imaginative. For although it may momentarily appear to be the
case, it is not at all likely that the cabin is entirely inhabited by
crying babies smoking inexpensive domestic cigars.
-- Fran Lebowitz, "Social Studies"
A committee is a life form with six or more legs and no brain.
-- Lazarus Long, "Time Enough For Love"
Business will be either better or worse.
-- Calvin Coolidge
The seven deadly sins ... Food, clothing, firing, rent, taxes, respectability
and children. Nothing can lift those seven milestones from man's neck but
money; and the spirit cannot soar until the milestones are lifted.
-- George Bernard Shaw
Anyone can do any amount of work provided it isn't the work he is supposed
to be doing at the moment.
-- Robert Benchley
I just asked myself... what would John DeLorean do?
-- Raoul Duke
This planet has -- or rather had -- a problem, which was this: most of
the people living on it were unhappy for pretty much of the time. Many
solutions were suggested for this problem, but most of these were
largely concerned with the movements of small green pieces of paper,
which is odd because on the whole it wasn't the small green pieces of
paper that were unhappy.
-- Douglas Adams
Telephone books are like dictionaries -- if you know the answer before
you look it up, you can eventually reaffirm what you thought you knew
but weren't sure. But if you're searching for something you don't
already know, your fingers could walk themselves to death.
-- Erma Bombeck
The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody
appreciates how difficult it was.
The difference between a career and a job is about 20 hours a week.
A continuing flow of paper is sufficient to continue the flow of paper.
-- Dyer
The reward of a thing well done is to have done it.
-- Emerson
Term, holidays, term, holidays, till we leave school, and then work, work,
work till we die.
-- C.S. Lewis
A commune is where people join together to share their lack of wealth.
-- R. Stallman
There is nothing so easy but that it becomes difficult when you do it
reluctantly.
-- Publius Terentius Afer (Terence)
No problem is so formidable that you can't just walk away from it.
-- C. Schulz
The faster I go, the behinder I get.
-- Lewis Carroll
Everybody likes a kidder, but nobody lends him money.
-- Arthur Miller
Every man thinks God is on his side. The rich and powerful know that he is.
-- Jean Anouilh, "The Lark"
A memorandum is written not to inform the reader, but to protect the writer.
-- Dean Acheson
To get back on your feet, miss two car payments.
... a thing called Ethics, whose nature was confusing but if you had it you
were a High-Class Realtor and if you hadn't you were a shyster, a piker and
a fly-by-night. These virtues awakened Confidence and enabled you to handle
Bigger Propositions. But they didn't imply that you were to be impractical
and refuse to take twice the value for a house if a buyer was such an idiot
that he didn't force you down on the asking price.
-- Sinclair Lewis, "Babbitt"
The trouble with money is it costs too much!
Then a man said: Speak to us of Expectations.
He then said: If a man does not see or hear the waters of the
Jordan, then he should not taste the pomegranate or ply his wares in an
open market.
If a man would not labour in the salt and rock quarries then he
should not accept of the Earth that which he refuses to give of
himself.
Such a man would expect a pear of a peach tree.
Such a man would expect a stone to lay an egg.
Such a man would expect Sears to assemble a lawnmower.
-- Kehlog Albran, "The Profit"
If you would know the value of money, go try to borrow some.
-- Ben Franklin
IF I HAD A MINE SHAFT, I don't think I would just abandon it. There's
got to be a better way.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
If God had not given us sticky tape, it would have been necessary to invent it.
I'd rather just believe that it's done by little elves running around.
About the time we think we can make ends meet, somebody moves the ends.
-- Herbert Hoover