I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
-- W.C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
-- W.C. Fields
Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew,
and we were forced to live on nothing but food and water for
days.
-- W. C. Fields, "My Little Chickadee"
“Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!”
-- W. C. Fields
You can't cheat an honest man. Never give a sucker an even break or
smarten up a chump.
-- W.C. Fields
Start every day off with a smile and get it over with.
-- W.C. Fields
Women are like elephants to me: I like to look at them, but I wouldn't
want to own one.
-- W.C. Fields
The cost of living has just gone up another dollar a quart.
-- W.C. Fields
Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child -- if you
parboil them first for seven hours, they always come out
tender.
-- W. C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
-- W.C. Fields
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
-- W. C. Fields
“Hey! Who took the cork off my lunch??!”
-- W. C. Fields
Women are like elephants to me: I like to look at them, but I wouldn't
want to own one.
-- W.C. Fields
I never vote for anyone. I always vote against.
-- W.C. Fields
I'd rather have two girls at 21 each than one girl at 42.
-- W.C. Fields
The cost of living has gone up another dollar a quart.
-- W.C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from betting on people.
-- W. C. Fields
Sleep -- the most beautiful experience in life -- except drink.
-- W.C. Fields
I don't drink water. Fish fuck in it.
-- - W. C. Fields -
The wise and intelligent are coming belatedly to realize that alcohol, and
not the dog, is man's best friend. Rover is taking a beating -- and he should.
-- W.C. Fields
Madam, there's no such thing as a tough child -- if you parboil them
first for seven hours, they always come out tender.
-- W. C. Fields
Anybody who hates children and dogs can't be all bad.
-- W.C. Fields
Horse sense is the thing a horse has which keeps it from
betting on people.
-- W. C. Fields
Anyone who hates Dogs and Kids Can't be All Bad.
-- W. C. Fields
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
-- W. C. Fields
If a thing's worth having, it's worth cheating for.
-- W.C. Fields
I am free of all prejudice. I hate everyone equally.
-- W.C. Fields
There comes a time in the affairs of a man when he has to take the bull
by the tail and face the situation.
-- W.C. Fields
The best cure for insomnia is to get a lot of sleep.
-- W. C. Fields
Once ... in the wilds of Afghanistan, I lost my corkscrew, and we were
forced to live on nothing but food and water for days.
-- W. C. Fields, "My Little Chickadee"
“Some things are better than sex, and some are worse, but there's nothing exactly like it.” (W.C. Fields)