What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making
them puke.
-- Steve Martin
What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making
them puke.
-- Steve Martin
Something better...
1 (obvious): Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
2 (meteorological): Everybody take cover. She's going to blow.
3 (fashionable): You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore
something larger. Like ... Wyoming.
4 (personal): Well, here we are. Just the three of us.
5 (punctual): Alright gentlemen. Your nose was on time but you were fifteen
minutes late.
6 (envious): Oooo, I wish I were you. Gosh. To be able to smell your
own ear.
7 (naughty): Pardon me, Sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't
mind putting that thing away.
8 (philosophical): You know. It's not the size of a nose that's important.
It's what's in it that matters.
9 (humorous): Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and it's goodbye,
Seattle.
10 (commercial): Hi, I'm Earl Schibe and I can paint that nose for $39.95.
11 (polite): Ah. Would you mind not bobbing your head. The orchestra keeps
changing tempo.
12 (melodic): Everybody! "He's got the whole world in his nose."
-- Steve Martin, "Roxanne"
“How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars.”
-- Steve Martin
Something better...
1 (obvious): Excuse me. Is that your nose or did a bus park on your face?
2 (meteorological): Everybody take cover. She's going to blow.
3 (fashionable): You know, you could de-emphasize your nose if you wore
something larger. Like ... Wyoming.
4 (personal): Well, here we are. Just the three of us.
5 (punctual): Alright gentlemen. Your nose was on time but you were fifteen
minutes late.
6 (envious): Oooo, I wish I were you. Gosh. To be able to smell your
own ear.
7 (naughty): Pardon me, Sir. Some of the ladies have asked if you wouldn't
mind putting that thing away.
8 (philosophical): You know. It's not the size of a nose that's important.
It's what's in it that matters.
9 (humorous): Laugh and the world laughs with you. Sneeze and it's goodbye,
Seattle.
10 (commercial): Hi, I'm Earl Schibe and I can paint that nose for $39.95.
11 (polite): Ah. Would you mind not bobbing your head. The orchestra keeps
changing tempo.
12 (melodic): Everybody! "He's got the whole world in his nose."
-- Steve Martin, "Roxanne"
What is comedy? Comedy is the art of making people laugh without making
them puke.
-- Steve Martin
“I believe that Ronald Reagan will someday make this
country what it once was... an arctic wilderness.”
-- Steve Martin
Something better...
13 (sympathetic): Oh, What happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
14 (complimentary): You must love the little birdies to give them this to
perch on.
15 (scientific): Say, does that thing there influence the tides?
16 (obscure): Oh, I'd hate to see the grindstone.
17 (inquiry): When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
18 (french): Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you
leave.
19 (pornographic): Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.
20 (religious): The Lord giveth and He just kept on giving, didn't He.
21 (disgusting): Say, who mows your nose hair?
22 (paranoid): Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
23 (aromatic): It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the
coffee ... in Brazil.
24 (appreciative): Oooo, how original. Most people just have their teeth
capped.
25 (dirty): Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?
-- Steve Martin, "Roxanne"
“I believe that sex is one of the most beautiful, natural, wholesome things that money can buy.” (Steve Martin)
Something better...
13 (sympathetic): Oh, What happened? Did your parents lose a bet with God?
14 (complimentary): You must love the little birdies to give them this to
perch on.
15 (scientific): Say, does that thing there influence the tides?
16 (obscure): Oh, I'd hate to see the grindstone.
17 (inquiry): When you stop to smell the flowers, are they afraid?
18 (french): Say, the pigs have refused to find any more truffles until you
leave.
19 (pornographic): Finally, a man who can satisfy two women at once.
20 (religious): The Lord giveth and He just kept on giving, didn't He.
21 (disgusting): Say, who mows your nose hair?
22 (paranoid): Keep that guy away from my cocaine!
23 (aromatic): It must be wonderful to wake up in the morning and smell the
coffee ... in Brazil.
24 (appreciative): Oooo, how original. Most people just have their teeth
capped.
25 (dirty): Your name wouldn't be Dick, would it?
-- Steve Martin, "Roxanne"