stephen wright quotes

On the other hand, you have different fingers...
-- Stephen Wright

I wrote a song, but I can't read music so I don't know what it is.
Every once in a while I'll be listening to the radio and I say, "I think
I might have written that."
-- Stephen Wright

I went to the bank and asked to borrow a cup of money. They
said, "What for?" I said, "I'm going to buy some sugar."
-- Stephen Wright

I xeroxed a mirror. Now I have an extra xerox machine.
-- Stephen Wright

I wrote a few children's books...not on purpose.
-- Stephen Wright

I replaced the headlights on my car with strobe lights. Now it looks
like I'm the only one moving.
-- Stephen Wright

After they make styrofoam, what do they ship it in?
-- Stephen Wright

It's a good thing we have gravity or else when birds died they'd just
stay right up there. Hunters would be all confused.
-- Stephen Wright

I had some eyeglasses. I was walking down the street when
suddenly the prescription ran out.
-- Stephen Wright

So, do you live around here often?
-- Stephen Wright