Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.
-- Homer Simpson
I Love Lisa
Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.
-- Homer Simpson
I Love Lisa
And thank you most of all for nuclear power, which is yet to cause a
single proven fatality, at least in this country.
-- Homer Simpson
Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?
Lurleen, I can't get your song outta my mind. I haven't felt this way
since `Funky Town.'
-- Homer Simpson
Colonel Homer
Oh, `no attitude,' eh? Not `in your face,' huh? Well, you can cram it
with walnuts, ugly!
-- Homer Simpson
The Itchy & Scratchy & Poochie Show
Anyway, we'd like to thank you for the occasional moments of peace and
love our family's experienced ... well, not today. You saw what
happened. Oh, Lord, be honest. Are we the most pathetic family in
the universe, or what?
-- Homer Simpson
Bart vs. Thanksgiving
It's just that I've only seen this movie twice before, and I've seen
you every night for the last eleven ye -- aha. What I mean to say is:
We'll snuggle tomorrow, sweetie. I promise.
-- Homer Simpson
Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy
And, Lord, we're especially thankful for nuclear power, the cleanest,
safest energy source there is, except for solar, which is just a pipe
dream.
-- Homer Simpson
Bart vs. Thanksgiving
I'll work from midnight to eight, come home, sleep for five minutes, eat
breakfast, sleep six more minutes, shower, then I have ten minutes to bask
in Lisa's love, then I'm off to the power plant fresh as a daisy.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa's Pony
Marge, you being a cop makes you the man! Which makes me the woman -- and
I have no interest in that, besides occasionally wearing the underwear,
which, as we discussed, is strictly a comfort thing.
-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection
Second class? What about Social Security, bus discounts, Medic-Alert
jewelery, Gold Bond powder, pants all the way up to your armpits, and
all those other senior perks? Oh, if you ask me, old folks have it
pretty sweet.
-- Homer Simpson
Raging Abe Simpson and His Grumbling Grandson in
"The Curse of the Flying Hellfish"
I couldn't very well chop your hand off and bring it to the store,
could I?
-- Homer Simpson
Life on the Fast Lane
Marge: Homer, is this the way you pictured married life?
Homer: Yup, pretty much. Except we drove around in a van solving
mysteries.
A Milhouse Divided
Wh ... what's going on? Wh ... wha ... why am I on a Japanese box?
-- Homer Simpson
In Marge We Trust
Just squeeze your rage into a bitter little ball and release it at an
appropriate time. Like that day I hit that referee with a whiskey
bottle. 'Member that?
-- Homer Simpson
Whacking Day
Pfft. Now you tell me.
-- Homer Simpson, finding out that working at a nuclear
plant can make one sterile
I Married Marge
Homer: There couldn't be heaven if there weren't a hell.
Bart: Who's in there?
Homer: Oh, uh ... Hitler's dog. And that dog Nixon had, whassisname, um,
Chester ...
Lisa: Checkers.
Homer: Yeah! One of the Lassies is in there, too. The mean one -- the
one that mauled Jimmy.
Dog of Death
Herb: I want you to help me design a car. A car for all the Homer
Simpsons out there! And I want to pay you two hundred thousand
dollars a year!
Homer: And I want to let you!
Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?
TV Announcer:
The following is a public service announcement: Excessive
alcohol consumption can cause liver damage and cancer of the
rectum.
Homer: Mmm ... beer.
So It's Come To This: A Simpsons Clip Show
Twenty of the suckiest minutes of my life.
-- Homer Simpson
Burns, Baby Burns
It all happened at the beginning of that turbulent decade known as the
eighties. Those were idealistic days: the candidacy of John Anderson,
the rise of Supertramp. It was an exciting time to be young.
-- Homer Simpson
I Married Marge
Homer: No TV and No Beer Make Homer ... something something.
Marge: Go crazy?
Homer: Don't mind if I do!
Treehouse of Horror V
Lisa: Remember, Dad. The handle of the Big Dipper points to the
North Star.
Homer: That's nice, Lisa, but we're not in astronomy class. We're in
the woods.
The Call of the Simpsons
Foul temptress. I'll bet she thinks Ziggy's gotten too preachy, too!
-- Homer Simpson
The Last Temptation of Homer
Homer: I don't want you to see me sitting on my worthless butt.
Bart: We've seen it, Dad.
Homer at the Bat
Homer: I'm a bad father!
Selma: You're also fat!
Homer: I'm also fat!
Saturdays of Thunder
I wish for a turkey sandwich on rye bread with lettuce and mustard. And
-- and I don't want any zombie turkeys, I don't want to turn into a turkey
myself, and I don't want any other weird surprises -- you got it?
-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror II
Jeez. No beer ... no opera dogs ...
-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Genius
Losers! Losers! Kiss my big Springfield behind, Shelbyville!
-- Homer Simpson
Homer Loves Flanders
Come here, you little raven!
-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror
Oh, Lisa, you and your stories. `Bart is a vampire.' `Beer kills
brain cells.' Now, let's go back to that ... building ... thingee
... where our beds and TV ... is.
-- Homer Simpson
Treehouse of Horror IV