I want to share something with you -- the three little sentences that will
get you through life. Number one, `Cover for me.' Number two, `Oh, good
idea, boss.' Number three, `It was like that when I got here.'
-- Homer Simpson
One Fish, Two Fish, Blowfish, Bluefish
Marge: Homie, are you really going to ignore Grampa for the rest of
your life?
Homer: Of course not, Marge, just for the rest of his life.
Grampa vs. Sexual Inadequacy
They don't call me Colonel Homer because I'm some dumb-ass army guy.
-- Homer Simpson
Colonel Homer
Oh, well, of course, everything looks bad if you remember it.
-- Homer Simpson
El Viaje Misterioso de Nuestro Homer
You know, Moe, my mom once said something that really stuck with me. She
said, `Homer, you're a big disappointment,' and, God bless her soul, she
was really onto something.
-- Homer Simpson
There's No Disgrace Like Home
D'oh! English! Who needs that? I'm never going to England. Come on,
let's smoke.
-- Homer Simpson, talking Barney into cutting class
The Way We Was
Homer: What?! Flanders! You're the Devil?
Devil Flanders:
Ho-oh, it's always the one you least suspect.
Treehouse of Horror IV
Unlike most of you, I am not a nut.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer's Odyssey
It's wonderful, it's magical. Oh boy, here it comes. Another mouth.
-- Homer Simpson
And Maggie Makes Three
I guess Bart's not to blame. He's lucky, too, because it's spanking
season, and I got a hankering for some spankering!
-- Homer Simpson
Two Dozen and One Greyhounds
Aw, being a clown sucks. You get kicked by kids, bit by dogs, and
admired by the elderly. Who am I clowning? I have no business being
a clown! I'm leaving the clowning business to all the other clowns in
the clowning business.
-- Homer Simpson
Homie the Clown
Ah, so that's what's been wrong with the little fella. He misses
casual sex.
-- Homer Simpson
Two Dozen and One Greyhounds
Who spread garbage all over Flanders's yard before I got a chance to?
-- Homer Simpson
Two Dozen and One Greyhounds