Flanders! My socks feel dirty! Gimme some water to wash 'em!
-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood
Flanders! My socks feel dirty! Gimme some water to wash 'em!
-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood
Michael:
Hi. I'm Michael Jackson, from The Jacksons.
Homer: I'm Homer Simpson, from the Simpsons.
Stark Raving Dad
This is the greatest thrill of my life! I'm king of the world! Wooo,
wooo! Wooo, wooo!
-- Homer Simpson
Bart the Daredevil
I didn't want a hokey second wedding like those ones on TV! This one's
for real!
-- Homer Simpson
A Milhouse Divided
The only danger is if they send us to that terrible Planet of the Apes
... Wait a minute, Statue of Liberty -- that was our planet! You
maniacs! You blew it up! Damn you! Damn you all to hell!
-- Homer Simpson
Deep Space Homer
Ah, sweet pity: where would my love life have been without it?
-- Homer Simpson
I Love Lisa
I'm a white male, aged 18 to 49. Everyone listens to me! No matter
how dumb my suggestions are.
-- Homer Simpson
Lisa vs. Malibu Stacy
Around the house, I never lift a finger
As a husband and father I'm sub-par
I'd rather drink a beer
than win Father of the Year
I'm happy with things the way they are
-- Homer Simpson
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)ocious
So if we don't all vote the same way, we'll be deadlocked and have to
be sequestered in the Springfield Palace Hotel ...
-- Homer Simpson
The Boy Who Knew Too Much
Burns: Good Lord, Smithers! You look atrocious. I thought I told you to
take a vacation.
Homer: Uh, Smithers already left, sir. I'm his replacement, Homer
Simpson.
Homer the Smithers
Well if it isn't the leader of the weiner patrol, boning up on his nerd
lessons!
-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood
Weaseling out of things is important to learn. It's what separates us
from the animals. Except the weasel.
-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood
Lisa, if you don't like your job you don't strike. You just go in
every day and do it really half-assed. That's the American way.
-- Homer Simpson
The PTA Disbands
Bart: Oh, cheer up, Mom. You can't buy publicity like that. Thousands
and thousands of people saw your pretzels injuring Whitey Ford.
Homer: You can call them Whitey-whackers!
-- Homer Simpson
The Twisted World of Marge Simpson
Homer: I'm sorry, Marge, but sometimes I think we're the worst family in
town.
Marge: Maybe we should move to a larger community.
There's No Disgrace Like Home
Quiet, you kids! If I hear one more word, Bart doesn't get to watch
cartoons and Lisa doesn't get to go to college.
-- Homer Simpson
Oh Brother, Where Art Thou?
Wait a minute, Marge. I saw "Mrs. Doubtfire." This is a man in drag!
-- Homer Simpson
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)ocious
Flanders:
They're not perfect, but the Lord says love they neighbor --
Homer: Shut up, Flanders.
Flanders:
Okely-dokely-do.
Hurricane Neddy
Bart: Wow, Dad, you took a baptismal for me. How do you feel?
Homer: Oh, Bartholomew, I feel like St. Augustine of Hippo after his
conversion by Ambrose of Milan.
-- Homer Simpson
Home Sweet Homediddly-Dum-Doodily
Bart: I'll take up smoking and give that up.
Homer: Good for you, son. Giving up smoking is one of the hardest
things you'll ever have to do. Have a dollar.
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)ocious
You are not my son!
-- Homer Simpson
Boy-Scoutz n the Hood
Bart: Can I be a boozehound?
Homer: Not till you're 15.
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)ocious
Your mother seems really upset. I better go have a talk with
her -- during the commercial.
-- Homer Simpson
Simpsoncalifragilisticexpiala(annoyed grunt)ocious
Woman: Your son was trespassing on my property and destroyed a very
valuable stone gargoyle, and -- Are you wearing a grocery bag?
Homer: I have misplaced my pants.
Bart After Dark
Homer: Well, the evening began at the Gentleman's Club, where we were
discussing Wittgenstein over a game of backgammon.
Scully: Mr. Simpson, it's a felony to lie to the FBI.
Homer: We were sitting in Barney's car eating packets of mustard. Ya
happy?
The Springfield Files
Two-hundred-thirty-nine pounds?! I'm a blimp! Why are all the good
things so tasty?
-- Homer Simpson
Brush With Greatness
Hmmm, look at those eyes. He's trying to hypnotize me, but not in the
good Las Vegas way.
-- Homer Simpson
Mountain of Madness
Boy, when Marge first told me she was going to the Police Academy, I
thought it's be fun and exciting, like the movie `Spaceballs.' But
instead, it's been painful and disturbing, like the movie `Police
Academy.'
-- Homer Simpson
The Springfield Connection
Bart: I had a fight with Milhouse.
Homer: That four-eyes with the big nose? You don't need friends like
that.
Lisa: How Zen.
-- Homer Simpson
Homer Defined
Six simple words: I'm not gay, but I'll learn.
-- Homer Simpson
I Love Lisa