Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit.
[Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]
-- Ovid
Adde parvum parvo manus acervus erit.
[Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]
-- Ovid
Armadillo:
To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle.
Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.
Ovid (43 BC - 18 AD)
AUSTRALIANS FEEL THE FORCE
(Australia) - More than 70,000 fans of the Star Wars movies have upset Australia's statistics agency by identifying their religion as "Jedi" during last year's national census. The Australian Bureau of Statistics said 0.37 percent of the nation's population of 19 million, or 70,509 people, had written "Jedi" or a related response to an optional question about their faith when the head count was taken recently. Jedi is a mystical faith followed by some of the central characters in the Star Wars films. The prank began early last year when Star Wars fans circulated an e-mail across Australia saying the government would be forced to recognize Jedi as an official religion if at least 10,000 people named it on the census. When made aware of the campaign, the statistics agency announced that respondents faced a fine of $540 if they were found to have given false information. In a statement its Internet site, the agency did not say if it would try to fine the Jedi faithful. But it warned that the Australian public ultimately paid the price for census-related pranks. "The cost of wrong information is to the current and potential users of these services," the agency said. "If, for example, people of a particular religious affiliation do not provide the correct information, certain facilities might not be built that otherwise would be."
You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.
Real Headline:
SENATE PASSES DEATH PENALTY
Measure provides for Electrocution for all persons over 17.
Fortune and love befriend the bold.
-- Ovid
Armadillo:
To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle.
From a student in America's fine public school system:
Joan of Arc was burnt to a steak and was cannonized by Bernard Shaw. Finally
Magna Carta provided that no man should be hanged twice for the same offense.
Humorix Holiday Gift Idea #7
Bluescreen Computer Case
US$27.97 at Bud's Beige Box Bazaar
Real Geeks may not admit to using Windows, but there's still countless geeks
out there who must suffer through the humiliation of using Windows while at
work. The patent-not-pending Bluescreen Case, though, will ease the stress of
working with Microsoft "solutions".
This computer case is very similar to other beige boxes, but with one
important difference: the reboot button is covered with a picture of Bill
Gates. When the machine bluescreens for the millionth time, all you have to do
is punch Bill Gates in the face as hard as you can, and the computer will
restart. This provides invaluable therapeutic stress relief.
Let others praise ancient times; I am glad I was born in these.
-- Ovid (43 B.C. - A.D. 18)
“I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it (your paper)
presently occupies the bottom of my bird cage.”
-- English Professor, Providence College
Dad: A bank provided by nature.
You seek to shield those you love and you like the role of the provider.
Customer: "I have a problem with Usenet news."
Tech Support: "Um, sir, you shouldn't be calling me in the first place, send
mail to support--"
Customer: "But this is very important, and maybe affecting a lot of
subscribers! Please listen to me."
Tech Support: (well, he did say please) "Ok, what's the problem?"
Customer: "There's nothing interesting on Usenet. It's all mindless crap, and
as one of the larger Internet providers, you must take liability for this!"
“Vermont is a state?” -- Asked of a contractor that provided long-distance information for AT&T.
“Vermont is a state?” -- Asked of a contractor that provided long-distance information for AT&T.
In 1922, Pitcairn Airlines was the first to provide airsickness bags.
CONDOMS GROWING ON TREES IN SAFE SEX PUSH
(Australia) A health service in Western Australia's Kimberley region has come up with an innovative way of promoting safe sex in Aboriginal communities. The program provides free condoms at unusual outdoor locations. Posters around Fitzroy Crossing advertise "Free Condoms in a Tree Near You." Under the program, canisters of condoms are hung from trees where different Aboriginal language groups traditionally gather. Patrick Davies from the Nindin-lin-gaari Cultural Health Center says the idea follows concern over the high rate of sexually transmitted diseases. He says previously people were embarrassed about getting condoms from the only outlets in town—the hospital or the news agency. "We were able to target the people from outlying communities when they came into town by hanging these PVC containers under those trees—they take about 2,500 or 3,000 every month," he said.
A dog thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... They must be Gods!
A cat thinks: Hey, these people I live with feed me, love me, provide me with a nice warm, dry house, pet me, and take good care of me... I must be a God!
It is annoying to be honest to no purpose.
-- Publius Ovidius Naso (Ovid)
Technically, there's no such thing as bullet-proof glass. The material is really "bullet-resistant laminated glass," but it's not the glass that provides the protection. It's the layers of strong, clear plastic sheets sandwiched between the layers of tempered glass.
Marlon Brando once set out to provide electrical power to the Tahiti island he owns by using electric eels.
Chance is always powerful. Let your hook
be always cast. In the pool where you
least expect it, will be a fish.
-- Ovid
Armadillo: to provide weapons to a Spanish pickle.
“I'm returning this note to you, instead of your paper, because it
(your paper) presently occupies the bottom of my bird cage.”
-- English Professor, Providence College
Armadillo:
To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle
Fight the Power!
-- Barney provides encouragement, "Blood Feud"
Adde parvum parvo magnus acervus erit.
[Add little to little and there will be a big pile.]
- OVID
In the National Football League, the home team is required to provide 24 footballs for each game.