“Are you sure you're not an encyclopedia salesman?”
No, Ma'am. Just a burglar, come to ransack the flat."
-- Monty Python
“Are you sure you're not an encyclopedia salesman?”
No, Ma'am. Just a burglar, come to ransack the flat."
-- Monty Python
I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick
and tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this
country are fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people
in this country are fed up with being sick and tired. I'm certainly
not, and I'm sick and tired of being told that I am.
-- Monty Python
High Priest: Armaments Chapter One, verses nine through twenty-seven:
Bro. Maynard: And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on high
saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand Grenade, and with it
smash our enemies to tiny bits." And the Lord did grin, and the
people did feast upon the lambs, and stoats, and orangutans, and
breakfast cereals, and lima bean-
High Priest: Skip a bit, brother.
Bro. Maynard: And then the Lord spake, saying: "First, shalt thou take
out the holy pin. Then shalt thou count to three. No more, no less.
*Three* shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the
counting shall be three. *Four* shalt thou not count, and neither
count thou two, excepting that thou then goest on to three. Five is
RIGHT OUT. Once the number three, being the third number be reached,
then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade towards thy foe, who, being
naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. Amen.
All: Amen.
-- Monty Python, "The Holy Hand Grenade"
A reading from the Book of Armaments, Chapter 4, Verses 16 to 20:
Then did he raise on high the Holy Hand Grenade of Antioch, saying,
“Bless this, O Lord, that with it thou mayst blow thine enemies to tiny
bits, in thy mercy.” And the people did rejoice and did feast upon the
lambs and toads and tree-sloths and fruit-bats and orangutans and
breakfast cereals ... Now did the Lord say, "First thou pullest the
Holy Pin. Then thou must count to three. Three shall be the number of
the counting and the number of the counting shall be three. Four shalt
thou not count, neither shalt thou count two, excepting that thou then
proceedeth to three. Five is right out. Once the number three, being
the number of the counting, be reached, then lobbest thou the Holy Hand
Grenade in the direction of thine foe, who, being naughty in my sight,
shall snuff it."
-- Monty Python, "Monty Python and the Holy Grail"
I think that all right-thinking people in this country are sick and
tired of being told that ordinary decent people are fed up in this
country with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not. But I'm
sick and tired of being told that I am.
- Monty Python
“The human brain is like an enormous fish -- it is flat and slimy and
has gills through which it can see.”
-- Monty Python
We're Knights of the Round Table
We dance whene'er we're able
We do routines and chorus scenes We're knights of the Round Table
With footwork impeccable Our shows are formidable
We dine well here in Camelot But many times
We eat ham and jam and Spam a lot. We're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable
In war we're tough and able, We're opera mad in Camelot
Quite indefatigable We sing from the diaphragm a lot.
Between our quests
We sequin vests
And impersonate Clark Gable
It's a busy life in Camelot.
I have to push the pram a lot.
-- Monty Python
Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!
-- Monty Python
“We had it tough ... I had to get up at 9 o'clock at night, half an
hour before I went to bed, eat a lump of dry poison, work 29 hours down
mill, and when we came home our Dad would kill us, and dance about on
our grave singing Haleleuia ...”
-- Monty Python
High Priest: Armaments Chapter One, verses nine through twenty-seven:
Bro. Maynard: And Saint Attila raised the Holy Hand Grenade up on high
saying, "Oh Lord, Bless us this Holy Hand Grenade, and with it
smash our enemies to tiny bits." And the Lord did grin, and the
people did feast upon the lambs, and stoats, and orangutans, and
breakfast cereals, and lima bean-
High Priest: Skip a bit, brother.
Bro. Maynard: And then the Lord spake, saying: "First, shalt thou take
out the holy pin. Then shalt thou count to three. No more, no less.
*Three* shall be the number of the counting, and the number of the
counting shall be three. *Four* shalt thou not count, and neither
count thou two, excepting that thou then goest on to three. Five is
RIGHT OUT. Once the number three, being the third number be reached,
then lobbest thou thy Holy Hand Grenade towards thy foe, who, being
naughty in my sight, shall snuff it. Amen.
All: Amen.
-- Monty Python, "The Holy Hand Grenade"
“Your mother was a hamster, and your father smelt of elderberrys!”
-- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
Mate, this parrot wouldn't VOOM if you put four million volts through it!
-- Monty Python
Five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity.
-- Robert Firth
“One, two, five.”
-- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
This here's the wattle,
The emblem of our land.
You can stick it in a bottle;
You can hold it in your hand.
Amen!
-- Monty Python
“The human brain is like an enormous fish -- it is flat and slimy and
has gills through which it can see.”
-- Monty Python
I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and
tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are
fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country
are fed up with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and
tired of being told that I am!
-- Monty Python
“The human brain is like an enormous fish -- it is flat and slimy and
has gills through which it can see.”
-- Monty Python
“But I don't want to go on the cart...”
"Oh, don't be such a baby!"
"But I'm feeling much better..."
"No you're not... in a moment you'll be stone dead!"
-- Monty Python, "The Holy Grail"
“Are you sure you're not an encyclopedia salesman?”
No, Ma'am. Just a burglar, come to ransack the flat."
-- Monty Python
“But I don't want to go on the cart...”
"Oh, don't be such a baby!"
"But I'm feeling much better..."
"No you're not... in a moment you'll be stone dead!"
-- Monty Python, "The Holy Grail"
We're Knights of the Round Table
We dance whene'er we're able
We do routines and chorus scenes We're knights of the Round Table
With footwork impeccable Our shows are formidable
We dine well here in Camelot But many times
We eat ham and jam and Spam a lot. We're given rhymes
That are quite unsingable
In war we're tough and able, We're opera mad in Camelot
Quite indefatigable We sing from the diaphragm a lot.
Between our quests
We sequin vests
And impersonate Clark Gable
It's a busy life in Camelot.
I have to push the pram a lot.
-- Monty Python
I think that all good, right thinking people in this country are sick and
tired of being told that all good, right thinking people in this country are
fed up with being told that all good, right thinking people in this country
are fed up with being sick and tired. I'm certainly not, and I'm sick and
tired of being told that I am!
-- Monty Python
Five is a sufficiently close approximation to infinity.
-- Robert Firth
“One, two, five.”
-- Monty Python and the Holy Grail
This here's the wattle,
The emblem of our land.
You can stick it in a bottle;
You can hold it in your hand.
Amen!
-- Monty Python