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mark twain quotes

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There is something fascinating about science. One gets such
wholesale returns of conjecture out of such a trifling
investment of fact.

-- Mark Twain


Substitute “damn” every time you're inclined to write
"very"; your editor will delete it and the writing will be
just as it should be.

-- Mark Twain


“Wagner's music is better than it sounds.”

-- Mark Twain


Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The
world owes you nothing. It was here first.

-- Mark Twain


“Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a
funeral? It is because we are not the person involved”

-- Mark Twain


A man cannot be comfortable without his own approval.

-- Mark Twain


All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence, and then success is
sure.

-- Mark Twain


Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.

-- Mark Twain


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.

-- Mark Twain, American Writer (1835-1910)


Everything human is pathetic. The secret source of humour itself is not joy
but sorrow.

-- Mark Twain, American Writer (1835-1910)


If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you.
This is the principle difference between a dog and a man.

-- Mark Twain


In Paris they simply stared when I spoke to them in French; I never did succeed
in making those idiots understand their language.

-- Mark Twain


It usually takes more than three weeks to prepare a good impromptu speech.

-- Mark Twain, American Writer (1835-1910)


Just the omission of Jane Austen's books alone would make a fairly good library
out of a library that hadn't a book in it.

-- Mark Twain


Let us so endeavour to live, that when we come to die, even the undertaker will
be sorry.

-- Mark Twain.


Man is the only animal that blushes... or needs to.

-- Mark Twain, American Writer (1835-1910)


Nothing so needs reforming as other peoples' habits.

-- Mark Twain


Soap and education are not as sudden as a massacre, but they are more deadly in
the long run.

-- Mark Twain


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
- Mark Twain


“There is no distinctly American criminal class except Congress.”
-- Mark Twain


“Go to Heaven for the climate, Hell for the company.”
-- Mark Twain


Adam and Eve had many advantages, but the principal one was, that they escaped
teething.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"


Always do right. This will gratify some people and astonish the rest.
-- Mark Twain


April 1

This is the day upon which we are reminged of what we are on the other three
hundred and sixty-four.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"


As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"


Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket"--which is
but a manner of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention;" but the wise
man saith, "Put all your eggs in the one basket and--WATCH THAT BASKET."
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"


By trying we can easily learn to endure adversity. Another man's, I mean.
-- Mark Twain


Civilization is the limitless multiplication of unnecessary necessities.
-- Mark Twain


Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-- Mark Twain


Consider well the proportions of things. It is better to be a young June-bug
than an old bird of paradise.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"