Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt
of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He
brought death into the world.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt
of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He
brought death into the world.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
All kings is mostly rapscallions.
--Mark Twain
“... all the modern inconveniences ...”
-- Mark Twain
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we
are not the person involved.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Training is everything. The peach was once a bitter almond; cauliflower is
nothing but cabbage with a college education.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
The man who sets out to carry a cat by its tail learns something that
will always be useful and which never will grow dim or doubtful.
-- Mark Twain.
In the space of one hundred and seventy-six years the Mississippi has
shortened itself two hundred and forty-two miles. Therefore ... in the
Old Silurian Period the Mississippi River was upward of one million
three hundred thousand miles long ... seven hundred and forty-two years
from now the Mississippi will be only a mile and three-quarters long.
... There is something fascinating about science. One gets such
wholesome returns of conjecture out of such a trifling investment of
fact.
-- Mark Twain
Truth is the most valuable thing we have -- so let us economize it.
-- Mark Twain
Truth is the most valuable thing we have -- so let us economize it.
-- Mark Twain
Anyone who has had a bull by the tail knows five or six more things
than someone who hasn't.
-- Mark Twain
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except Congress.
-- Mark Twain
When I was younger, I could remember anything, whether it had happened
or not; but my faculties are decaying now and soon I shall be so I
cannot remember any but the things that never happened. It is sad to
go to pieces like this but we all have to do it.
-- Mark Twain
Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket"--which is
but a manner of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention;" but the wise
man saith, "Put all your eggs in the one basket and--WATCH THAT BASKET."
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Clothes make the man. Naked people have little or no influence on society.
-- Mark Twain
Repartee is something we think of twenty-four hours too late.
-- Mark Twain
Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do.
Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do.
-- Mark Twain
She is not refined. She is not unrefined. She keeps a
parrot.
-- Mark Twain
Whoever has lived long enough to find out what life is, knows how deep a debt
of gratitude we owe to Adam, the first great benefactor of our race. He
brought death into the world.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best
judge of one.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
Whenever the literary German dives into a sentence, that is the last
you are going to see of him until he emerges on the other side of his
Atlantic with his verb in his mouth.
-- Mark Twain "A Connecticut Yankee in King Arthur's Court"
There is no distinctly native American criminal class except
Congress.
-- Mark Twain
Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession.
You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy
officials have gone by.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
“The penis mightier than the sword.” (Mark Twain)
“... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often
picturesque liar.”
-- Mark Twain
Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.
-- Mark Twain
When I reflect upon the number of disagreeable people who I know who have gone
to a better world, I am moved to lead a different life.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
When in doubt, tell the truth.
-- Mark Twain
Only kings, presidents, editors, and people with tapeworms have the right
to use the editorial "we".
-- Mark Twain
“When in doubt, tell the truth.”
-- Mark Twain
Don't go around saying the world owes you a living. The world owes you
nothing. It was here first.
-- Mark Twain