mark twain quotes

"... an experienced, industrious, ambitious, and often quite often
picturesque liar."
-- Mark Twain

As to the Adjective: when in doubt, strike it out.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

Gratitude and treachery are merely the two extremities of the same procession.
You have seen all of it that is worth staying for when the band and the gaudy
officials have gone by.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

Hain't we got all the fools in town on our side? And hain't that a big
enough majority in any town?
-- Mark Twain, "Huckleberry Finn"

Truth is the most valuable thing we have -- so let us economize it.

-- Mark Twain

It is often the case that the man who can't tell a lie thinks he is the best
judge of one.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

One of the most striking differences between a cat and a lie is that a cat has
only nine lives.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

There is an old time toast which is golden for its beauty.
"When you ascend the hill of prosperity may you not meet a friend."
-- Mark Twain

The human race is a race of cowards; and I am not only marching in that
procession but carrying a banner.
-- Mark Twain

The holy passion of Friendship is of so sweet and steady and loyal and
enduring a nature that it will last through a whole lifetime, if not asked to
lend money.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

"When in doubt, tell the truth."

-- Mark Twain

The human race has one really effective weapon, and that is laughter.

-- Mark Twain

A banker is a fellow who lends you his umbrella when the sun
is shining and wants it back the minute it begins to rain.--

-- Mark Twain

Clothes make the man.

Naked people have little or no influence on society.

-- Mark Twain

Man is the only animal that blushes -- or needs to.

-- Mark Twain

There is no distinctly native American criminal class except
Congress.

-- Mark Twain

April 1

This is the day upon which we are reminded of what we are on the other three
hundred and sixty-four.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

Behold, the fool saith, "Put not all thine eggs in the one basket"--which is
but a manner of saying, "Scatter your money and your attention;" but the wise
man saith, "Put all your eggs in the one basket and--WATCH THAT BASKET."
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from
the mouths of people who have had to live.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"

"... all the modern inconveniences ..."
-- Mark Twain