“Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to
extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum of moo. And I am afraid
to say that these days all I get is moo.”
(Jingo)
“Taxation, gentlemen, is very much like dairy farming. The task is to
extract the maximum amount of milk with the minimum of moo. And I am afraid
to say that these days all I get is moo.”
(Jingo)
[...] Vimes's grin was as funny as the one that moves very fast towards
drowning men. And has a fin on top.
(Jingo)
One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful item that weighs less than its operating manual.
(Jingo)
'I'm just going to kick some arse dear'
'Oh, good. Just be sure you wrap up well, then.'
(Jingo)
'My strength is like the strength of ten because my heart is pure,' said Carrot.
'Really? Well, there's eleven of them.'
(Jingo)
Someone's behind this. Someone wants to see a war. [...] I've got to remember that. This isn't a war. This is a crime.
(Jingo)
'It is always useful to face an enemy who is prepared to die for his country,' he read. 'This means that both you and he have exactly the same aim in mind.'
(Jingo)
'We'll all be killed.'
'Think of it as the lesser of two evils.'
'What's the other one?'
Vimes drew his sword.
'Me.'
(Jingo)
The night is always old. He'd walked too often down dark streets in the secret hours and felt the night stretching away, and known in his blood that while days and kings and empires come and go, the night is always the same age, always aeons deep. Terrors unfolded in the velvet shadows and while the nature of the talons may change, the nature of the beast does not.
(Jingo)
'And I promise you this,' he [Carrot] shouted, 'if we succeed, no-one will remember. And if we fail, no one will forget!'
(Jingo)
'A man like that could inspire a handful of broken men to conquer a country.'
'Fine. Just so long as he does it on his day off.'
(Jingo)
'Why are our people going out there?' said Mr Boggis of the Thieves' Guild.
'Because they are showing a brisk pioneering spirit and seeking wealth and... additional wealth in a new land,' said Lord Vetinari.
'What's in it for the Klatchians?' said Lord Downey.
'Oh, they've gone out there because they are a bunch of unprincipled opportunists always ready to grab something for nothing,' said Lord Vetinari. [...] The Patrician looked down again at his notes. 'Oh, I do beg your pardon,' he said. 'I seem to have read those last two sentences in the wrong order.
(Jingo)
'Detectoring is like gambling,' said Vimes, putting down the clove. 'The secret is to know the winner in advance.'
(Jingo)
And there was nothing finer than a wizard dressed up formally, until
someone could find a way of inflating a Bird of Paradise, possibly by using
an elastic band and some kind of gas.
(Jingo)
'Can't argue with the truth, sir.'
'In my experience, Vimes, you can argue with anything.'
(Jingo)
She sighed again. She was familiar with the syndrome. They *said* they
wanted a soulmate and helpmeet but sooner or later the list would include a
skin like silk and a chest fit for a herd of cows.
(Jingo)
One of the universal rules of happiness is: always be wary of any helpful
item that weighs less than its operating manual.
(Jingo)
“Give a man a fire and he's warm for a day, but set fire to him and he's
warm for the rest of his life.”
(Jingo)
“*Veni, vici*...Vetinari.”
(Jingo)
It was so much easier to blame it on Them. It was bleakly depressing to
think that They were Us. If it was Them, then nothing was anyone's fault.
If it was us, what did that make Me? After all, I'm one of Us. I must be.
I've certainly never thought of myself as one of Them. *No one* ever thinks
of themselves as one of Them. We're always one of Us. It's Them that do the
bad things.
(Jingo)
“'Chapter Fifteen, Elementary Necromancy'", she read out loud. ”'Lesson
One: Correct Use of Shovel...'"
(Jingo)
He had the look of a lawn mower just after the grass had organised a
workers' collective. There was a definite suggestion that, deep inside, he
knew this was not really happening. It could not be happening because this
sort of thing did not happen. Any contradictory evidence could be safely
ignored.
(Jingo)
'And trust no-- Trust practically no-one. All right? Except trustworthy people.'
(Jingo)