groucho marx quotes

I'd horsewhip you if I had a horse.
-- Groucho Marx

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the politicians
can go on the air and kid the people.

-- Groucho Marx

I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather
dance with the cows till you come home.
-- Groucho Marx

In America you can go on the air and kid the politicians, and the
politicians can go on the air and kid the people.

-- Groucho Marx

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

-- Groucho Marx

A child of five would understand this.
Send someone to fetch a child of five.

-- Groucho Marx

I never forget a face, but in your case I'll make an exception.
-- Groucho Marx

It's not often that you get so much class entertainment outside your bedroom
window or outside your bedroom, period.
- Groucho Marx

I could dance till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather
dance with the cows till you come home.

-- Groucho Marx

All people are born alike -- except Republicans and Democrats.
-- Groucho Marx

You'd better beat it. You can leave in a taxi. If you can't get a taxi, you
can leave in a huff. If that's too soon, you can leave in a minute and a huff.
-- Groucho Marx

A black cat crossing your path signifies that the animal is going somewhere.
-- Groucho Marx

Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.

-- GROUCHO MARX

No-one is completely unhappy at the failure of his best
friend.

-- Groucho Marx

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx

My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been
one.

-- Groucho Marx

My mother loved children -- she would have given anything if I had been one.
-- Groucho Marx

I could dance with you till the cows come home. On second thought, I'd rather
dance with the cows till you come home.
-- Groucho Marx

I've had a perfectly wonderful evening. But this wasn't it.
-- Groucho Marx

It's hard to get ivory in Africa, but in Alabama the Tuscaloosa.
-- Groucho Marx