Do not read this fortune under penalty of law.
Violators will be prosecuted.
(Penal Code sec. 2.3.2 (II.a.))
Do not read this fortune under penalty of law.
Violators will be prosecuted.
(Penal Code sec. 2.3.2 (II.a.))
If this fortune didn't exist, somebody would have invented it.
If there are epigrams, there must be meta-epigrams.
This fortune is false.
What does it mean if there is no fortune for you?
This fortune is dedicated to your mother, without whose invaluable assistance
last night would never have been possible.
Please ignore previous fortune.
Ignore previous fortune.
If it's Tuesday, this must be someone else's fortune.
Did you know about the -o option of the fortune program? It makes a
selection from a set of offensive and/or obscene fortunes. Why not
try it, and see how offended you are? The -a ("all") option will
select a fortune at random from either the offensive or inoffensive
set, and it is suggested that "fortune -a" is the command that you
should have in your .profile or .cshrc. file.
If you wish to live wisely, ignore sayings -- including this one.
We interrupt this fortune for an important announcement...
I know you believe you understand what you think this fortune says, but
I'm not sure you realize that what you are reading is not what it means.
Hi there! This is just a note from me, to you, to tell you, the person
reading this note, that I can't think up any more famous quotes, jokes,
nor bizarre stories, so you may as well go home.
Since before the Earth was formed and before the sun burned hot in space,
cosmic forces of inexorable power have been working relentlessly toward
this moment in space-time -- your receiving this fortune.
THIS IS PLEDGE WEEK FOR THE FORTUNE PROGRAM
If you like the fortune program, why not support it now with your
contribution of a pithy fortunes, clean or obscene? We cannot continue
without your support. Less than 14% of all fortune users are contributors.
That means that 86% of you are getting a free ride. We can't go on like
this much longer. Federal cutbacks mean less money for fortunes, and unless
user contributions increase to make up the difference, the fortune program
will have to shut down between midnight and 8 a.m. Don't let this happen.
Mail your fortunes right now to "fortune". Just type in your favorite pithy
saying. Do it now before you forget. Our target is 300 new fortunes by the
end of the week. Don't miss out. All fortunes will be acknowledged. If you
contribute 30 fortunes or more, you will receive a free subscription to "The
Fortune Hunter", our monthly program guide. If you contribute 50 or more,
you will receive a free "Fortune Hunter" coffee mug ....
This fortune soaks up 47 times its own weight in excess memory.
=======================================================================
|| ||
|| The FORTUNE-COOKIE program is soon to be a Major Motion Picture! ||
|| Watch for it at a theater near you next summer! ||
|| ||
=======================================================================
Francis Ford Coppola presents a George Lucas Production:
"Fortune Cookie"
Directed by Steven Spielberg.
Starring Harrison Ford Bette Midler Marlon Brando
Christopher Reeves Marilyn Chambers
and Bob Hope as "The Waiter".
Costumes Designed by Pierre Cardin.
Special Effects by Timothy Leary.
Read the Warner paperback!
Invoke the Unix program!
Soundtrack on XTC Records.
In 70mm and Dolby Stereo at selected theaters and terminal
centers.
You will think of something funnier than this to add to the fortunes.
Sorry, no fortune this time.
The fortune program is supported, in part, by user contributions and by
a major grant from the National Endowment for the Inanities.
There is no such thing as fortune. Try again.
This fortune cookie program out of order. For those in desperate need,
please use the program "________randchar". This program generates random
characters, and, given enough time, will undoubtedly come up with
something profound. It will, however, take it no time at all to be
more profound than THIS program has ever been.
This Fortune Examined By INSPECTOR NO. 2-14
This fortune intentionally left blank.
This fortune intentionally not included.
This fortune intentionally says nothing.
This fortune is encrypted -- get your decoder rings ready!
This fortune is inoperative. Please try another.
This fortune was brought to you by the people at Hewlett-Packard.