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george carlin quotes

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Would you *______really* want to get on a non-stop flight?
-- George Carlin


“Forget school kids--why don't they bus horny women?” (George Carlin)


“Did you ever notice the people who are most adamantly against abortions are people so ugly you wouldn't want to touch them in the first place?” (George Carlin)


Would you *______really* want to get on a non-stop flight?
-- George Carlin


Saliva causes cancer, but only if swallowed in small amounts over a long
period of time.
-- George Carlin


“The sixties were good to you, weren't they?”
-- George Carlin


“If God had intended us not to masturbate, he would have made our arms shorter.” (George Carlin)


“May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.”
-- George Carlin


“I remember when I was a kid I used to come home from Sunday School and
my mother would get drunk and try to make pancakes.”
-- George Carlin


“My father? My father left when I was quite young. Well actually, he
was asked to leave. He had trouble metabolizing alcohol.”
-- George Carlin


Saliva causes cancer, but only if swallowed in small amounts over a long
period of time.
-- George Carlin