friends quotes

Rachel: No no no, wait, I wanna see what happens [in the show].

Joey: Uh, I get Leslie out of the coma and then we make out.

Rachel: Well how can that be, you were just kissing Sabrina?

Monica: Rachel, it's a world where Joey is a neuro-surgeon.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Nurse: All right, all right, there's a few too many people in this room,
and there's about to be one more, so anybody who's not an ex-husband or a
lesbian life partner, out you go!

ALL: Good luck!

Chandler: [to nurse] Let me ask you, do you have to be Carol's lesbian life
partner?

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

[Joey is making a sign on the ground out of sticks]
Joey: Okay, done.

Monica: [reading the sign] What's "PLEH"?

Joey: That's "HELP" spelled backwards, so that the helicopters can read
it from the air!

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Joey: If you ask me, as long as you got this job, you've got nothing pushing
you to get another one. You need the fear.

Rachel: The fear?

Chandler: He's right, if you quit this job, you then have motivation to go
after a job you really want.

Rachel: Well then how come you're still at a job that you hate, I mean why
don't you quit and get `the fear'?

[Chandler and Joey both laugh]

Chandler: Because, I'm too afraid.

Rachel: I don't know, I mean I would give anything to work for a designer,
you know, or a buyer.... Oh, I just don't want to be 30 and still work
here.

Chandler: Yeah, that'd be much worse than being 28, and still working here.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Ross: What, so this guy is helping you for no apparent reason?

Rachel: Uh-huh!

Ross: And he's, he's a total stranger?

Rachel: Yeah! His name is um, Mark something.

Ross: Huh. Sounds like Mark Something wants to have some sex.

Rachel: What!?

Ross: Well, I'm just saying, I mean why else would he just, y'know, swoop
in out of nowhere for no reason.

Rachel: To be nice.

Ross: Hey, Joey. Are men ever nice to strange women for no reason?

Joey: No, only for sex.

Ross: Thank you.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Ross: You uh, you don't believe in gravity?

Phoebe: Well, it's not so much that you know, like I don't believe in it,
you know, it's just...I don't know, lately I get the feeling that I'm not so
much being pulled down as I am being pushed.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Joey: Well, what about the fact that you insulted the bracelet and you
made fun of me?

Chandler: OK, well that's the part where I'm a wank. But I was hoping we
wouldn't focus on that.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Phoebe: Today we're gonna start with some songs about barnyard animals.

[singing]
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo,
Oh, the cow in the meadow goes moo.
Then the farmer hits him on the head and grinds him up,
And that's how we get hamburgers.

Nooowww, chickens!

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Ross: I'm hurt! I'm actually hurt, that you would think that I would send
you any of those things out of any thing other than love. Hurt! Hurt!

Rachel: All right Ross!! I get it!!

Ross: I mean my God...

Rachel: You're hurt!

Ross: ...can't, can't a guy send a barbershop quartet to his girlfriend's
office anymorrrrre!!

Rachel: Oh, please, Ross it was so obvious! It was like you were marking
your territory. I mean you might have well have just come in and peed all
around my desk!

Ross: I would never do that.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Luisa: Oookay. Are you aware that possession of an illegal exotic [Ross'
Monkey, Marcel] is, uh, punishable by up to two years in prison and
confiscation of the animal?

Phoebe: Oh my God. You'd put that poor little creature in jail?

Monica: Pheebs, you remember how we talked about saying things quietly
to yourself first?

Phoebe: Yes, but there isn't always time!

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Rachel: What? It's true, my right leg is two inches shorter.

Dr. Green: Come on! You're just titling! [to Ross] Her legs are fine!

Ross: I know that!

Dr. Green: So, why do you let her go to a chiropractor for?

Rachel: I'm sorry, let her?

Ross: What can I do, she doesn't listen to me about renter's insurance
either.

Dr. Green: Wait a minute, you don't have renter's insurance?!

Rachel: No.

Dr. Green: Well what if somebody steals something? How are you gonna run
after him with one leg shorter than the other?!

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Monica: Hey, great skirt! Birthday present?

Rachel: Yeah.

Monica: Oh, from who?

Rachel: From you. I exchanged the blouse you got me.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Phoebe: Y'know I had a dream where Ross and Rachel were still together,
they never broke up. And we were all just like hanging out, and everyone
was happy....

Joey: I had the same dream!

Phoebe: Yeah, and nobody slept with that Xerox girl.

Joey: Oh, I had the opposite dream.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Ross: All we're saying is don't rush into anything.

Joey: Yeah, come on, think about it. You're 18, okay? She's 44. when you're
36, she's gonna be 88!

Frank: What, you don't think I know that?

Joey: Look, the point is, there's a lot of women out there you haven't
even had sex with yet!

Ross: Yeah, he-he's right, he's right. This is your time, y'know. Yeah:
you're young, you're-you're weird. Chicks dig that.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Ross: You think?! God, I, ah, I'm in hell. I mean what, what am I gonna
do? Rachel's all like, "I love you and, and let's work on this." And
all I can think about is, "What is she gonna do? What is she gonna say?"
when I tell her what I did.

Chandler: Well, before we answer that, I think we should address the
more important question: how dumb are you?

Ross: What?! Look, we're trying to rebuild a relationship here, right.
How am I supposed to do that here, without being totally honest with
each other?

Joey: Look, Ross look, I'm on board about this totally honesty thing,
I am, just not about stuff that's gonna get you in trouble.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Phoebe: Okay.
[She puts the car in gear. The car moves a few feet and sputters to a stop.]
Phoebe: Oh, no!

Rachel: What, what's it, what's going on?

Phoebe: Yeah, this has happened before.

Rachel: So you know how to fix it?

Phoebe: Yep. Put more gas in.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Chandler: I am telling you, years from now, schoolchildren will study it
as one of the greatest first dates of all time. It was unbelievable! We
could totally be ourselves, we didn't have to play any games...

Monica: So have you called her yet?

Chandler: Let her know I like her? What are you, insane?
It's the next day! How needy do I want to seem?
[To the guys] I'm right, right?

Joey & Ross: Oh, yeah. Yeah. Let her dangle.

Monica: I can't believe my parents are actually pressuring me to find one
of you people.

Phoebe: Oh, God, just do it! Call her! Stop being so testosteroney!

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

[At the Brown Bird meeting]
Ross: [to the girl sitting next to him] Hi there. How many, how many ah,
did you sell?

Girl: I'm not gonna tell you! You're the bad man who broke Sarah's leg.

Ross: Hey now! That was an accident, okay.

Girl: You're a big scrud.

Ross: What's a scrud?

Girl: Why don't you look in the mirror, scrud.

Ross: I don't have too. I can just look at you.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Rachel: Fine. [on the phone] Hi! Yes, I'd like to order a large pizza.

Ross: No anchovies.

Rachel: With ah, extra anchovies.

Ross: That's okay, I'll just pick `em off.

Rachel: Yeah, and could you please chop some up and just put it right
there in the sauce?

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"

Phoebe: I don't know how to say this, but I think when your wife's spirit
left her body, it um, kind of stuck around in me.

Mr. Adelman: You're saying, my wife is in you?

Phoebe: Yeah. Ok, you don't have to believe me but um, can you think of any
unfinished business she might have had, like any reason she'd be hanging
around?

Mr. Adelman: Well, I don't know what to tell you, Dear. The only thing I can
think of is that she always used to say that before she died, she wanted to
see everything.

Phoebe: Everything?

Mr. Adelman: Everything.

Phoebe: Whoa, that's a lot of stuff.

Mr. Adelman: Oh, wait, I remember, she also said she wanted to sleep with
me one last time.

Excerpt from the TV Show "Friends"