fortunes quotes

Tonight's the night: Sleep in a eucalyptus tree.

The whole world is a tuxedo and you are a pair of brown shoes.
-- George Gobel

"Life, loathe it or ignore it, you can't like it."
-- Marvin, "Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"

Stay away from hurricanes for a while.

Living your life is a task so difficult, it has never been attempted before.

Save energy: be apathetic.

It's a very *__UN*lucky week in which to be took dead.
-- Churchy La Femme

You will be the victim of a bizarre joke.

Be cautious in your daily affairs.

You are capable of planning your future.

Don't you wish you had more energy... or less ambition?

Don't you feel more like you do now than you did when you came in?

Be different: conform.

You will gain money by an immoral action.

Alimony and bribes will engage a large share of your wealth.

Someone whom you reject today, will reject you tomorrow.

Give him an evasive answer.

Celebrate Hannibal Day this year. Take an elephant to lunch.

If you stand on your head, you will get footprints in your hair.

Be security conscious -- National defense is at stake.