Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck
“The only reason that I would take up jogging is so that I could hear heavy breathing again.” (Erma Bombeck)
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
-- Erma Bombeck
Housework can kill you if done right.
-- Erma Bombeck
Never lend your car to anyone to whom you have given birth.
-- Erma Bombeck
Article the Third:
Where a crime of the kidneys has been committed, the accused should
enjoy the right to a speedy diaper change. Public announcements and
guided tours of the aforementioned are not necessary.
Article the Fourth:
The decision to eat strained lamb or not should be with the "feedee"
and not the "feeder". Blowing the strained lamb into the feeder's
face should be accepted as an opinion, not as a declaration of war.
Article the Fifth:
Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize, whether it be in church,
a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the
lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have
to last a lifetime and must be conserved.
-- Erma Bombeck, "A Baby's Bill of Rights"
Never go to a doctor whose office plants have died.
-- Erma Bombeck
Article the Third:
Where a crime of the kidneys has been committed, the accused should
enjoy the right to a speedy diaper change. Public announcements and
guided tours of the aforementioned are not necessary.
Article the Fourth:
The decision to eat strained lamb or not should be with the "feedee"
and not the "feeder". Blowing the strained lamb into the feeder's
face should be accepted as an opinion, not as a declaration of war.
Article the Fifth:
Babies should enjoy the freedom to vocalize, whether it be in church,
a public meeting place, during a movie, or after hours when the
lights are out. They have not yet learned that joy and laughter have
to last a lifetime and must be conserved.
-- Erma Bombeck, "A Baby's Bill of Rights"
Telephone books are like dictionaries -- if you know the answer before
you look it up, you can eventually reaffirm what you thought you knew
but weren't sure. But if you're searching for something you don't
already know, your fingers could walk themselves to death.
-- Erma Bombeck
Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.
-- Erma Bombeck
Telephone books are like dictionaries -- if you know the answer before
you look it up, you can eventually reaffirm what you thought you knew
but weren't sure. But if you're searching for something you don't
already know, your fingers could walk themselves to death.
-- Erma Bombeck
Death is a spirit leaving a body, sort of like a shell leaving the nut behind.
-- Erma Bombeck
Housework can kill you if done right.
-- Erma Bombeck