definitions quotes

Armadillo:
To provide weapons to a Spanish pickle.

pixel, n.:
A mischievous, magical spirit associated with screen displays.
The computer industry has frequently borrowed from mythology:
Witness the sprites in computer graphics, the demons in artificial
intelligence, and the trolls in the marketing department.

quark:
The sound made by a well bred duck.

Senate, n.:
A body of elderly gentlemen charged with high duties and misdemeanors.
-- Ambrose Bierce

QOTD:
"I'm on a seafood diet -- I see food and I eat it."

QOTD:
"If he learns from his mistakes, pretty soon he'll know everything."

Swahili, n.:
The language used by the National Enquirer to print their retractions.
-- Johnny Hart

Magnocartic, adj.:
Any automobile that, when left unattended, attracts shopping carts.
-- Sniglets, "Rich Hall & Friends"

One Page Principle:
A specification that will not fit on one page of 8.5x11 inch
paper cannot be understood.
-- Mark Ardis

Carswell's Corollary:
Whenever man comes up with a better mousetrap,
nature invariably comes up with a better mouse.

Laws of Serendipity:
(1) In order to discover anything, you must be looking for something.
(2) If you wish to make an improved product, you must already
be engaged in making an inferior one.

jogger, n.:
An odd sort of person with a thing for pain.

Coronation, n.:
The ceremony of investing a sovereign with the outward and visible
signs of his divine right to be blown skyhigh with a dynamite bomb.
-- Ambrose Bierce, "The Devil's Dictionary"

QOTD:
"I ain't broke, but I'm badly bent."

philosophy:
Unintelligible answers to insoluble problems.

QOTD:
Flash! Flash! I love you! ...but we only have fourteen hours to
save the earth!

The First Rule of Program Optimization:
Don't do it.

The Second Rule of Program Optimization (for experts only!):
Don't do it yet.
-- Michael Jackson

The Official MBA Handbook on doing company business on an airplane:
Do not work openly on top-secret company cost documents unless
you have previously ascertained that the passenger next to you
is blind, a rock musician on mood-ameliorating drugs, or the
unfortunate possessor of a forty-seventh chromosome.

Genderplex, n.:
The predicament of a person in a restaurant who is unable to
determine his or her designated restroom (e.g., turtles and tortoises).
-- Rich Hall, "Sniglets"

The Ancient Doctrine of Mind Over Matter:
I don't mind... and you don't matter.
-- As revealed to reporter G. Rivera by Swami Havabanana