“I am thinking it right but beating it wrong.”
--- Eugene Ormandy
“I am thinking it right but beating it wrong.”
--- Eugene Ormandy
You! What PLANET is this!
-- McCoy, "The City on the Edge of Forever", stardate 3134.0
“The only way for a reporter to look at a politician is down.”
-- H.L. Mencken
“All God's children are not beautiful. Most of God's children are, in fact,
barely presentable.”
-- Fran Lebowitz
A girl with a future avoids the man with a past.
-- Evan Esar, "The Humor of Humor"
I know not with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World
War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.
-- Albert Einstein
“Contrariwise," continued Tweedledee, ”if it was so, it
might be, and if it were so, it would be; but as it isn't, it
ain't. That's logic!"
-- Lewis Carroll, "Through the Looking Glass"
I GUESS I'LL NEVER FORGET HER. And maybe I don't want to. Her spirit
was wild, like a wild monkey. Her beauty was like a beautiful horse
being ridden by a wild monkey. I forget her other qualities.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
Why is it that we rejoice at a birth and grieve at a funeral? It is because we
are not the person involved.
-- Mark Twain, "Pudd'nhead Wilson's Calendar"
A boy gets to be a man when a man is needed.
-- John Steinbeck
Digital computers are themselves more complex than most things people build:
They hyave very large numbers of states. This makes conceiving, describing,
and testing them hard. Software systems have orders-of-magnitude more states
than computers do.
- Fred Brooks, Jr.
No animal should ever jump on the dining room furniture unless
absolutely certain he can hold his own in conversation.
-- Fran Lebowitz
If we make peaceful revolution impossible, we make violent revolution
inevitable.
-- John F. Kennedy
A dead man cannot bite.
-- Gnaeus Pompeius (Pompey)
I THINK THEY SHOULD CONTINUE the policy of not giving a Nobel Prize for
paneling.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
The principal's toupee is not a Frisbee.
-- Bart Simpson - on the blackboard
I will not eat things for money.
-- Bart Simpson - on the blackboard
A manager asked a programmer how long it would take him to finish the
program on which he was working. "I will be finished tomorrow," the programmer
promptly replied.
"I think you are being unrealistic," said the manager. "Truthfully,
how long will it take?"
The programmer thought for a moment. "I have some features that I wish
to add. This will take at least two weeks," he finally said.
"Even that is too much to expect," insisted the manager, "I will be
satisfied if you simply tell me when the program is complete."
The programmer agreed to this.
Several years later, the manager retired. On the way to his
retirement lunch, he discovered the programmer asleep at his terminal.
He had been programming all night.
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
Beggars should be no choosers.
-- John Heywood
A journey of a thousand miles starts under one's feet.
-- Lao Tsu
In the long run, every program becomes rococo, and then rubble.
-- Alan Perlis
Any fool can make a rule, and any fool will mind it.
Henry David Thoreau
The man who goes alone can start today; but he who travels with another must
wait till that other is ready.
Henry David Thoreau, Walden(1854),I,Economy
The faster I go, the behinder I get.
-- Lewis Carroll
What does education often do? It makes a straight cut ditch of a
free meandering brook.
-- Henry David Thoreau
You will never amount to much.
-- Munich Schoolmaster, to Albert Einstein, age 10
Wedding is destiny, and hanging likewise.
-- John Heywood
Gil-galad was an Elven-king.
Of him the harpers sadly sing:
the last whose realm was fair and free
between the Mountains and the Sea.
His sword was long, his lance was keen,
his shining helm afar was seen;
the countless stars of heaven's field
were mirrored in his silver shield.
But long ago he rode away,
and where he dwelleth none can say;
for into darkness fell his star
in Mordor where the shadows are.
-- J. R. R. Tolkien
Laughter is a tranquilliser with no side effects.
-- Anonymous
Military intelligence is a contradiction in terms.
-- Groucho Marx