Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is
made of.
-- Benjamin Franklin
Dost thou love life? Then do not squander time, for that's the stuff life is
made of.
-- Benjamin Franklin
“Beware of bugs in the above code; I have only proved it correct, not
tried it.”
-- Donald Knuth
We're all sorry for the other guy when he loses his job to a machine.
But when it comes to your job -- that's different. And it always will
be different.
-- McCoy, "The Ultimate Computer", stardate 4729.4
“Toreador, don't spit on the floor, use the cuspidor, that's what it's for.”
-- Bart
The verdict of a jury is the a priori opinion of that juror who smokes
the worst cigars.
-- H. L. Mencken
Laughter is the closest distance between two people.
-- Victor Borge
I am not authorized to fire substitute teachers.
-- Bart Simpson - on the blackboard
One of the major difficulties Trillian experienced in her relationship with
Zaphod was learning to distinguish between him pretending to be stupid just
to get people off their guard, pretending to be stupid because he couldn't
be bothered to think and wanted someone else to do it for him, pretending
to be so outrageously stupid to hide the fact that he actually didn't
understand what was going on, and really being genuinely stupid. He was
reknowned for being quite clever and quite clearly was so -- but not all the
time, which obviously worried him, hence the act. He preferred people to be
puzzled rather than contemptuous. This above all appeared to Trillian to be
genuinely stupid, but she could no longer be bothered to argue about.
-- Douglas Adams, "The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy"
If a woman has to choose between catching a fly ball and saving an infant's life,
she will choose to save the infant's life without even considering if there are men on base.
Your job is being a professor and researcher: That's one hell of a good excuse
for some of the brain-damages of minix.
(Linus Torvalds to Andrew Tanenbaum)
“With us tonight is William Warfield, who is with us tonight. He is a wonderful man, and so is his wife.”
--- Eugene Ormandy
“We're going to have the best-educated American people in the world.”
--- Dan Quayle
I BET WHAT HAPPENED was they discovered fire and invented the wheel on
the same day. Then that night, they burned the wheel.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
All kings is mostly rapscallions.
--Mark Twain
The only way you can live forever is to love somebody - then you real leave a
gift behind, when you live that was, as I've seen with people with physical
illness, you literally have the choice of when you die.
-- Dr Bernard Siegel. MD
Two heads are better than one.
-- John Heywood
Only those who leisurely approach that which the masses are busy about
can be busy about that which the masses take leisurely.
-- Lao Tsu
All is well that ends well.
-- John Heywood
A novice asked the Master: "Here is a programmer that never designs,
documents, or tests his programs. Yet all who know him consider him one of
the best programmers in the world. Why is this?"
The Master replies: "That programmer has mastered the Tao. He has
gone beyond the need for design; he does not become angry when the system
crashes, but accepts the universe without concern. He has gone beyond the
need for documentation; he no longer cares if anyone else sees his code. He
has gone beyond the need for testing; each of his programs are perfect within
themselves, serene and elegant, their purpose self-evident. Truly, he has
entered the mystery of the Tao."
-- Geoffrey James, "The Tao of Programming"
If you've done six impossible things before breakfast, why not round it
off with dinner at Milliway's, the restaurant at the end of the universe?
-- Douglas Adams, "The Restaurant at the End of the Universe"
You! What PLANET is this!
-- McCoy, "The City on the Edge of Forever", stardate 3134.0
Ask your child what he wants for dinner only if he is buying.
-- Fran Lebowitz
You're dead, Jim.
-- McCoy, "Amok Time", stardate 3372.7
It's not the valleys in life I dread so much as the dips.
-- Garfield
“I am thinking it right but beating it wrong.”
--- Eugene Ormandy
GOD IS DEAD - Nietzsche
NIETZSCHE IS DEAD - God
You can't evaluate a man by logic alone.
-- McCoy, "I, Mudd", stardate 4513.3
TOO BAD YOU CAN'T BUY a voodoo globe so that you could make the earth spin
real fast and freak everybody out.
-- Jack Handley, The New Mexican, 1988.
Sin lies only in hurting other people unnecessarily. All other "sins" are
invented nonsense. (Hurting yourself is not sinful -- just stupid).
-- Lazarus Long
Use your health, even to the point of wearing it out. That is what it is for.
Spend all you have before you die; and do not outlive yourself.
-- George Bernard Shaw