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bender quotes

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“C'mon, it's just like making love. Y'know, left, down, rotate sixty-two
degrees, engage rotors....” -Bender

“But suppose we sent a crew to plant an explosive precisely on the fault
line between this mass of coffee grounds and this
deposit of America Online floppy disks.” -Professor
"In theory, it could work." -General
"In theory, perhaps, but you'll never find a crew willing to take on a
mission so suicidally dangerous." -Wernstrom
"Aw, jeez." -Bender

Were-Bender: Oh boy, I feel like a car in a candy store.

“Good lord. What is this?” -Fry
"It's the decaying ruins of old New York. Welcome home, pal!" -Bender

“Who was that guy?” -Fry
"Your momma! Now shut up and drag me to work." -Bender

“I refuse to fight! I'm a concientious objector.” -Bender
"A what?" -Fry
"You know, a coward." -Bender

“C'mon guys. Tonight we're gonna party like it's 1999...again.” -Fry
"I'm gonna drink 'till I reboot." -Bender

“Why would a robot need to drink?” -Fry
"I don't need to drink, I can quit anytime I want." -Bender

“Hey, sexy mama. Wanna kill all the humans?” -Bender

“I might have liked Zap Brannigan if he weren't a pompous dimwit who threw
me in prison." -Leela "You really are too picky.”

“I'm gonna go build my own theme park... with blackjack and hookers! In
fact, forget the park!” -Bender

“Please select mode of death: quick and painless or slow and horrible.”
"Yeah, I'd like to place a collect call." -Fry
"You have selected slow and horrible." -Automated voice
"Great choice." -Bender

“Why don't you just come move in with me?” -Bender
"Really? That would be great! You sure I won't be imposing?" -Fry
"Nah. I've always wanted a pet." -Bender

“I love this planet. I've got wealth, fame, and access to the depths of
sleaze that those things bring.” -Bender

“Good news, everyone.” -Professor
"Uh oh. I don't like the sound of that." -Bender
"You'll be making a delivery to the planet Trisaw." -Professor
"Here it comes." -Bender
"A mysterious world in the darkest depths of the forbidden zone."
"Thank you, and goodnight." -Bender

“Are you all right?” -Leela
"Ah, it's nothing a a law suit won't cure." -Bender