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bart quotes

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“Toreador, don't spit on the floor, use the cuspidor, that's what it's for.”

-- Bart


The algorithm for finding the longest path in a graph is NP-complete.
For you systems people, that means it's *real slow*.
-- Bart Miller


“I will not instigate revolution.”

-- Bart's writing on the blackboard in Moaning Lisa


“When he's not in class, he's risking his ass”

-- Bart's slogan in Bart the Daredevil


“Don't rock the boat, man.”

-- Bart


“Where's my spy camera! (etc)”

-- Bart to the MailWoman in Homer's Night Out


Bart: "Hello, is Homer there?"
Moe: "Homer who?"
Bart: "Homer.....sexual
Moe: "Wait one second, let me check. [calls] Uh, Homer Sexual? Hey,
come on, one of you guys has got to be Homer Sexual! [guffaws,
from the gang] You rotten live pot! If I ever get a hold of
you, I'll sink my teeth into your cheek and rip your face off."

-- Bart's phone prank in Principal Charming


“You *know* what happens! They find Captain Kook's treasure, all the elves
dance around like little green idiots, I puke, the end!”

-- Bart to Lisa in Some Enchanted Evening


??: "It IS stealing!"
Bart: "I didn't want to think we were deluding ourselves."

-- Bart in the Tell-Tale Head (?)


“Oh no, he's hurt. Bad. Let's get out of here!”

-- Bart's friends when he gets hurt in Bart the Daredevil


“Hasta Lambada, Dudes”

-- Bart


The algorithm for finding the longest path in a graph is NP-complete.
For you systems people, that means it's *real slow*.
-- Bart Miller


“If you can do the `Bart,' you're Bad like Michael Jackson...”

-- Bart in DO THE BARTMAN


“We *know* how it ends! They rescue (insert elf's name), jump around like
little green idiots, I puke, the end!”

-- Bart to Lisa in Some Enchanted Evening


Bart: "Wow, you speak English!!??"
Alien: "No, we are speaking Rigelian, but by some remarkable coincidence,
they are exactly the same."

-- Bart to alien in Treehouse of Horror


“What the hell are you talking about, homeboy?”

-- Bart to Homer


“I will not fake my way through life”

-- Bart on chalkboard in Bart Gets An 'F'


I'm the little hellraiser, sir!

-- Bart in Oh Brother, Where Are Thou?


Bart: You always told me I was going to destroy the family. But I never
believed it.
Lisa: That's okay, Bart. Nobody really believed it.
We were just trying to scare you.
-- Bart destroys the family, "Blood Feud"


“I didn't kill Grandpa! Society killed Grandpa!!”

-- Bart


“One o'clock... Still just a potato.”

-- Bart, about his Science Project in Dead Putting Society


Bart: "I think this guy's a little crazy."
Grandpa: "General Patton was a little crazy. This guy's totally out of his
mind! We can't fail!"

-- Bart the General


I have stuff from all four food groups.
(Holding up a sandwich) Sandwich group...(Holding
up a carton of milk) Moo group... (Holding up a
bannana) Jungle group... (Holding up a Butterfinger)
and Butterfinger group.

-- Bart in the Butterfinger commercial


As God is my witness, I can pass the fourth grade
-- Bart in Bart Gets An 'F'


“Give me a break, man!”
"Oh, man!"
"Hey, dude!"
"Hey, Homer!"

-- Bart


Part of this D- belongs to God!

-- Bart in Bart Gets an F


“Give up homeboy, there's a six stroke limit.”

-- Bart in Dead Putting Society


“Cross you heart, hope to die,
Stick a needle in your eye,
Jam a dagger in your thigh,
Eat a horse manure pie!”

-- Bart in Homer's Night Out


Bart: "Sir, did you lose your arm in the war?"
Herman: "Well, let's just say that the next time your teacher tells you
not to stick your arm out the bus window, you DO IT!"

-- Bart the General


“Bosom.”

-- Bart in Dead Putting Society